A Reader left a Comment here at PsychopathicWritings.com, and the Reply I wrote in Response became so long that I eventually decided to write an Article with basis in his comment which is about Choices, particularly Spiritual and Psychological Choices, and he has A Very Interesting Suggestion to Psychopaths who are experiencing what is probably not exactly a Depression, but which is The Closest I think a Psychopath can get to Experiencing an Actual Depression.
In the following I quote the Reader and give my Personal Views and Answers to the Various Ideas Discussed in This Article.
I was thinking. All those conspiracy-thoughts. They are a never ending. A sea of possiblities. Twist one, a new one surges.. Aren’t most of them a persons need to feel as if he/she has some control. I think so.
Yeah, I guess that’s what it is, motivated by fear, of course. People want to feel that they understand and know exactly what’s going on. They’re mostly childishly laughable, though. If this sounds unfamiliar to anyone, visit any bar between 5 PM and 5 AM. Or go to one of all the meetings that evangelists and what not advertises on the local TV and radio channels (at least in the US – but definitely not where I’m at now. Here there’s only the local bar).
Radical acceptance, would suggest to let go of that need, since one cannot know anyway.
You can’t let go of a need. If you could let go of it, it wouldn’t be a need. But you can let go of false needs, and there are a lot of those floating around. Still, the need to feel some level of control is linked to survival, that’s why that particular need will never go away, and those who have the means and the power uses this to their advantage. Even the programs and speeches that has the aim of getting someone or some party into power of some sort plays on this fear of everything that is slightly untraditional and unfamiliar by painting it in the colors of the current culture’s idea of ‘evil’ – often completely anachronistic, but that doesn’t matter because it all works via the subliminal, that which the mainstream population is not quite aware of – because they spend their mental energy on making themselves hyper aware of what they’re fed by the popular media.
Thus we blame the individual for eating sugar filled nutrient drained fast food instead of blaming the companies for making that food available to those who can’t afford the higher quality foods. We only see the one side, the individual who consumes the bad food and we buy the easy explanations, “he’s lazy”, “he eats all day”, “why don’t he go to the gym instead and eat green veggies” etc. etc. And while the questions are legitimate enough, they’re one sided, there’s more to it, and blaming the weaker part for having caused a bad situation is absurd.
Since when did the weak have the power to create a bad situation that the strong did not want?
But it’s convenient to believe that’s how it is. Just let go of that need of a meaningful life where you have a meaningful role to play, then you’ll not need to over eat ever again. – But as I said above, that need is there for a reason, and you can’t let go of a need because it is part of your existential metabolism, so to speak.
One can know a lot of things, and merely accepting and not even trying to understand will not help us either. I think the truth is somewhere in between. You can know some things, but you also have to accept that you can’t know it all and you never will. The truth is a little bit different each time you change perspective, and you do that constantly while you live, just as each individual has a slightly different perspective from the next – both having perspectives that constantly changes while they live. It’s impossible to know it all, you would have to be the almighty g-d that the Christians and Muslims talk about. He’s their excuse for trying to force their beliefs upon others.
And by the way, do you know what they love to do when a newly reformed believer has a crisis? They tell him to just put his faith in g-d, or whatever is their holy deliverer, and otherwise accept that he doesn’t understand why this particular belief is the only true way to salvation.
What are they really good for. I’d suggest not very much.
What are the conspiracy theories good for? Why they’re only good for making the individual feel a false sense of safety or security in that he thinks he knows it all. And if we take every aspect into consideration, it can save a person’s life if perhaps temporarily, just until he’s regained enough inner balance to be able to continue his life without borrowing a false sense of security from any conspiracy theories.
Maybe I, maybe you, maybe other, we all should focus more on what we can do something about.
Now you’re talking. This is what I’ve been saying all along, so we do agree about something essential. This is also why testing theories and do research is always good (for as long as you don’t mistake the results for final truth) because you never know when it’ll bring you new knowledge which again will allow us to do something about something that really needs to be done something about. I think that’s what keeps most researchers and people, who has that strong, fundamental curiosity which reaches (far) beyond himself, going.
What we can improve. Ourself. Maybe one can improve by letting go of the need to find solutions and outcomes. To trust. Have faith. I don’t know.
You already know what I think about giving up trying to find new ways, solutions and outcomes.
About trust and faith I can’t say so much, at least not in the same sense that I hear about them from other people – scholars and religious sources, i.e. But I guess I have some sort of inner belief in myself, otherwise I would’ve been dead already. Something keeps me going and something keeps me going even when there seems to be absolutely no way out. I think it’s at least in part because I can’t stop searching, and I always somehow learn something new which is of significant importance… at least enough so to get me further and back on track.
There have been times in my life where I learned things that I would recant and turn down immediately if I came upon them today. But I have no regret about having learned these things, or even that I believed in them for a while, because they are part of the whole which makes up the reason why I’m where I’m at – mentally speaking – today. And I honestly wouldn’t want to be any place else where that element of my existence is concerned. My wish for change is purely geographical-political and cultural, because these factors at this particular place on the globe makes up a constellation that is close to impossible to get free of once you’ve been written into their extensive registry of what makes up their world and their reality… their good and bad.
I didn’t think it possible, but I have just very, very recently had the absolutely lowest low with regard to how I felt about life and my chances to bounce back. I have never experienced anything like it, and though I’ve read and been told about something like this happening to other psychopathic individuals, I kept have a strange feeling that they were fooling with me because surely that could not be true.
To my regret I even posted a blog comment once (not on my own blog, but that almost makes it worse) in which I stated that the very idea of a depressed psychopath made me giggle. The comment was posted in reply to a psychopath who posted a short notice where he told us all – without the slightest drama or manipulative phrases – that depression among psychopaths does occur. – Maybe he reads this article, who knows. If he does, he now knows that his post wasn’t for nothing even though nobody except myself replied or reacted to it at the time, and even though that reaction of mine was pure refusal to believe it could be true.
Some people will perhaps argue that I must’ve met depressed psychopaths in prison. And yes, I did meet some, not many, just a couple. But I never thought it was much more than an act. I remember one who got electroshock therapy (yep, this country also has the world record in use of that method to cure the mentally ill, particularly the depressed), and I witnessed him walking about like a zombie – only twice because he was mostly kept isolated in his cell which he apparently didn’t care either way about. Indeed he didn’t seem to care much about anything. I also never had any opportunity to talk to him, and the other guy I only spoke to a few times in passing before his depression apparently became so serious he had to be retained in his cell as well and no longer took part in the so called group therapy sessions we had in that period (a period that lasted two months).
I think it may also be okay to mention that during those years I didn’t have any particular knowledge about psychopaths in the way that I do now, and I certainly did not believe that I myself was a psychopath. There were some others I also didn’t believe were psychopaths, they each shared that belief about themselves and also had some other traits that stood out which were much like certain fundamental aspects that I acknowledge to be part of my own personality makeup (but that’s a topic I’ll discuss in more detail in future article).
Most of all, I did not take the concept of psychopathy serious. I saw it as a label the system used to categorize people they couldn’t find anything else wrong with, but whom they could see and hear weren’t like your average person, plus most importantly, who refused to accept dogma that seemed unfounded, unreasonable, ridiculous, suppressive, and so on.
But, the short of the long: The deep depression-like low that I have experienced in very recent time, and written about a few articles back, seem almost incomprehensible to me now that I’ve beaten it. I beat it with very simple methods: I realized that I had to use the little money I had saved up to use for surgery and/or leaving in the future. I had to use them to go and buy some decent food and get some gym work out, because if I didn’t, there would be no chance to get surgery or to leave because I would be… in a state that made either of these actions impossible (I would be dead or too sick to do anything).
So yeah, I’m back, ready to try once more. And it wasn’t because I let go of any hope or wish for my future, quite the contrary. I was considering giving up hope, which would’ve meant my death because hope is what keeps man alive when there’s nothing else.
On the other hand I don’t want you to misunderstand me. I think what you suggest can be used but only by certain people who have it in them to completely detach all sense of fundamental connection to this world. I don’t claim to understand it, but I know there are spiritual paths followed by large groups of people in India which base their practice on the teaching that hanging on to anything of this world, be it expectations, belongings, ambitions, in some groups even love to another person should be let go of…
And we have all the branches of Buddhism. I’m not sure if what you mention has any ties to Buddhism, but I studied Buddhism for a while when I was a lot younger than I am now, and I eventually had to realize it wasn’t for me and I couldn’t believe in the teachings.